Fresh Out -- Finale

So what was the Good Lord thinking? 

As I noted on the last post, men's testosterone seems to last forever, not to mention the benefits but women lose their capacity to produce children, produce testosterone and relish competition mid-life.  Yet we, as a gender, live longer. Men continue their quest for competition and procreation through out their lives but suffer life spans several years shorter. So is God a feminist or a male chauvinist? Maybe He is not either. Maybe He really just has a good sense of humor. God created the most exquisite of living creatures in humans. Then He threw testosterone in one, estrogen in the other and sat back for a good laugh. Oh how just a few atoms of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen can make such a difference!

            Webster’s New World Dictionary defines testosterone as a male sex hormone with a chemical makeup of C19H28O2. Look at all those carbon and hydrogen atoms and so few oxygen atoms! One might be tempted to think that such an overabundance of carbon and hydrogen might contribute to that huge need for competition and power that our male colleagues exhibit. Well ladies, not so fast. Turns out that estriol, a female sex hormone, is loaded with carbon and hydrogen too.  As is estradiol, another female sex hormone whose chemical makeup is C18H24O2.  So the real difference between the genders amounts to a carbon and four hydrogen atoms … something like CH4.  Well, I’ll be!  CH4 is the chemical makeup of … methane. Methane, also defined by Webster, is an odorless, colorless gas found widely in nature.  Methane, when combusted, creates energy in the form of natural gas used to heats homes, buildings and apparently men! The men in the world are full of gas. And is seems that I really WAS out of gas!

            From this sentence on, the Wit and Wisdom for Business Women Dictionary for professional women everywhere shall define testosterone as the desire to compete, specifically in corporate America but more generally in life. It shall mean the drive for power, money and/or glory. It is one driven by ego and status. It may still be a man’s world in many respects but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it. Have you checked your testosterone tank lately? I hear laughter is great for replenishing a dwindling supply.


Next time we begin our review of testosterone types .... stay tuned. 

Fresh Out -- Part 2

So what was I thinking ...  going back to school for a degree and career?

           I really wasn’t thinking … too far into the future that is. I didn’t have a grand plan. I didn’t lay out a five year strategy. I had no preconceived notions of making SVP of something within a given time frame.  I wanted a better paycheck and if ‘Mr. Right’ happened to cross my path in the process, I would factor that into the equation then. I didn’t really start to tap my testosterone reservoir seriously until I left the second job and was actually hired into my chosen profession … Technology, though in those days it was call Data Processing. Midway through my career it took on a more professional moniker when we started calling ourselves MIS ... short for Management Information Systems ... but today we are IT,  Information Technology.  In short, I was writing software and running computer systems. Now I had to do more that tap my testosterone. I had to turn the spigot on full blast.  It was been flowing ever since … twenty+  years.

            I’ve reached the ranks of SVP and earned a position as Director of Technology. You certainly could say that the paycheck got much better. There is no need to repeat the perks from the last post. But may I remind you that I was very much staring into that glass ceiling. At this point in my career, I had to work just as hard, expend just as much testosterone, now, as on my climb up just to maintain my plateau position ... thus my dilemma … fresh out of testosterone.

            I can’t say that my current condition was a total surprise for me. At the time I began my writing I had been running low for a few years. The last four years of my previous job had just zapped me. I had had six managers in four years and the last manager was still billed as ‘temporary’.  Four of the six were men. It takes a lot of work and testosterone to reestablish yourself and your team with each new manager. The men require more. The company had reorganized several times. The economy slipped, budgets were cut and jobs were lost. Change is a necessary component of life. Change is good. I kept reminding myself of that as I sucked up another quart of testosterone to weather the next storm of change. 
            Seems the depletion of testosterone is a natural occurrence for women. Men do experience dipping levels later in life but it is never really depleted. This means that men maintain the ability to compete and procreate late into their lives.  I wonder what God was thinking? 


Let's hold that for the next post. 


         

Fresh Out -- Part 1

Alright ... so where to begin.  Let's start with the facts ... I found myself twenty+ years in corporate America and fresh out of testosterone … exhausted, depleted, gone, running on empty, out of gas!  I have used up my very last ounce.  I drove into work that day and parked my new, expensive SUV in my reserve space.  I walked into my corner office with the spectacular view and sat behind my large, mahogany desk all the while thinking … my will to compete has passed away. How long before all my hard earned perks will pass away too?  Call me stupid.  Call me naïve. Call me pressed up against that glass ceiling so hard you would barely recognize my face from the other side. It was, in fact, my very last ounce of testosterone that beckoned me, hurl yourself, one last time, at the glass with a SPLAT so loud that it could be heard through out the hallowed company halls … well, more like the carpeted company cubicles. But alas, I have lost both my battle and my testosterone. What’s a professional woman in corporate America to do?  There were a number of options ranging from anger to tears. I decided to go with one in the middle … laughter. I had decided I would try to laugh about it; stop fighting it; write about it. I couldn't be the only woman with an empty gas tank. As an official member of the later baby boom generation, I was willing to bet that there were a lot of women whose dip sticks were registering dry. Yet the men around me, of all generations, were holding their own … endless supply of testosterone … not dip sticks.

When did you first know that you wanted a career? You needed a career if you were going to live that middle class dream.  You wanted the house, the cars, the kids, the vacations and the comfortable life. You just couldn’t do it with a ‘job’ unless you were willing to work two jobs. This revelation came to me, around the age of 21,  during my part-time day job, cooking breakfast and serving lunch. Even with the paycheck from the second shift position at the medical center, it was barely enough to make ends meet.  My solution was to get a roommate, drop the day job and get back to college.  Little did I know that with this decision I began tapping my testosterone reservoir. That kind of decision was one a man would make … not so much a women in those days. My two best friends from high school were in college and they would openly admit that they were there looking for husbands. I’m not sure if they ever finished their degrees but they are both married.  My other friends were actively searching for their ‘knights in shining armor’ by frequenting many of the local bars and getting invited to as many parties as possible. But I was going back to school to pursue a career. What was I thinking?

I'll tell you what ... in the next post.